there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
