So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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