Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
