Can i not drive my cunt home
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Slut skills are useful in every country.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
