woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
