remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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