I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize