I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
