garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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