the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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