I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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