I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize