what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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