hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
