just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
