I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize