god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
