new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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