No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
