she looked like the bat from fern gully.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
