He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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