Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
