She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
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