Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
