K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Randomize