My brain says no but my pants say off.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
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