This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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