# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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