it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
