You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I wish my penis had an off switch
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
