Can Purell be used as lube?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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