Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
