I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
