omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
