I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
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