I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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