i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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