Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
The power of my boobs compel you
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
