My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
