somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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