I smell stomach acid.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
