I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
3pm strippers are depressing
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
