one two three fourrrrnication!
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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