pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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