You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
