i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
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we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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