Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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