very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize