I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
