discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
