Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
