She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
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tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
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Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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