I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
