I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
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Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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