it's like iHOP with fire
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
