Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
