omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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