If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
