The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Randomize
