hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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