i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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