your parents love me but you hate me
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
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We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
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