dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
So many bounce houses so little time
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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