a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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