Umm I'm too high to move.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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