You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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